Köpenhamn – Göteborg 2018-11-03

The afternoon sun is shining into the train wagon and onto wide green fields adorned with pittoresque farm houses, slowly rotating windmills and cow herds. Straw is bundled together in big white packs that look like giant marshmallows. Much as expected, getting onto the Öresundståg back home was not so easy. First, we took a train from Copenhagen C to Kastrup, from where we changed to a replacement bus. The bus queue was impressively long: adults, elderly people sitting on benches, babies crying, tourists asking Swedes for explanations in English… until, thankfully, four buses arrived at the same time. Since the Swedish are used to Skånetrafiken, no riots had broken out – everyone just endured their fate. We boarded the last, typical Skånetrafik-yellow bus and formatted one trolley, one backpack, a handbag and the two of us onto one seat. Astonishingly, even though many people wanted to board the bus, not everyone was this considerate. Despite a short motivational speech in finest skånska by our bus driver, no passengers wanted to fill up the back seats, thereby clogging the main bus space and preventing others from boarding the same bus. Since further buses were going to pick up travellers, the driver closed the doors and drove off.

On the bus, we were discussing last night’s concerts. Checking in at the hotel had been successful, and the venue was just a 20 minutes walk away, which gave us the opportunity for some nocturnal sightseeing. After an obligatory coffee and pistachio bulle refreshment, we arrived at the third floor of Huset KBH. It features a bar on the ground floor, various artistic projects on different floors, and people would sometimes go from one floor to another to check out different events in the same house.

It was great to say hello to everyone. The soundcheck had already been completed, and Ras and Rune were explaining the basics about how to work the entrance booth to Einar and me. We took turns, which means that I could enjoy the first two bands of the night before it was my turn to sit at the entrance. Meanwhile, Einar was recording live video and audio footage of the bands. What I enjoyed most about the first band Ætervader was the combination of electronic music with a live violin, sometimes playing an entirely different melody. Next came Navy Bruise – who would not survive for long on Star Trek, since they were wearing red shirts – who had a great singer and knew how to engage - apologies for the pun - the audience. Party vibes were strong in the crowd.

The most difficult part of working at the entrance was not knowing and recognising the faces of visitors who had already paid, since I took over at a later time. Thankfully, Rune helped me out and many people showed me the stamp on their hands. A smaller challenge was to familiarise myself with Danish currency in less than optimal light. The other available option was MobilePay, the Danish variety of Swish. With one eye on the people coming to the venue and the other eye on the stage, I watched as Ras, Mie and Laerke started to play. They performed both Ras classics like e.g. Snödrottningen and Load Error and well-chosen covers such as Klaus Nomi’s Total Eclipse and Ohm Sweet Ohm by Kraftwerk. Between bands, various DJs were playing short sets. Although the flow of people had pretty much ebbed by the time Fake the Envy were going to play, about twenty people in total were still coming to the venue. Some of them were hoping to get their first Tuborg Christmas beer. The night the first Christmas beer is released in Denmark is commonly known as ”Jayday” and usually leads to more drunk Danes than on average club nights. However, there was no Christmas beer at our venue. Since both Einar and I were rather tired from work in the morning and travelling, we left after Fake the Envy had finished playing and thanked Ras and colleagues for hosting us – it is always fun to work with them.

Breakfast and housing were exactly as you would imagine for a budget of around 800 SEK for two people per night – sufficient, but not overly exciting. However, the view of the roofs of Copenhagen from the third floor was amazing. Warm sunshine and a perfectly blue sky invited us to take a walk in the city. We stopped for delicious coffee on the way from the city centre to Kongens Have, a park we chose as a photo location for the traditional wooden elk travel photo. We saw carps jumping out of the water, ducks, seagulls and many dogs. With our Vitamin D reservoirs refilled, we passed Tivoli as we headed for the main train station.

Crossing the Öresundsbridge from Denmark back to Sweden often comes with passport controls, as it does this time. The customs officers first ask all travellers to show their passports, but cannot walk through the bus, since it is too crammed with people. Then, some passengers are asked to exit the bus in order for the customs dog, a cute brown medium-sized dog, to walk through the bus. Another customs officer checks some passports of passengers in the hind section of the bus, thereby prolonging our stay, while the customs officer with the dog tells a traveller, ”Don’t touch the dog, it’s a working dog. You are not allowed to touch the dog. I don’t have to tell you that, do I?” with a notably arrogant attitude. How ironic that an institution named ”customs” does not have any.

The replacement bus stops at Hyllie where we are greeted by a futuristic, UFO-like monument not unlike the water towers of Gothenburg. It is, obviously, another vattentorn (As is obvious from my way of thinking, Einar and I have been touring the water towers of Gothenburg)... Leaving Malmö Arena behind, we board the next Pågatåg, get out at Malmö C and quickly buy tickets for the rest of the journey and refreshments before we board the Öresundståg again.

Train travelling sometimes rewards you with a landscape like in an oil painting. The combination of the setting afternoon sun shining its mellow light on windmills and the deep blue sea is amazingly pretty. It almost makes up for the inconveniences you encounter on weekends with railway work – almost, not entirely. As if one replacement bus was not enough, we have to change to a bus again at Halmstad, get out at Varberg and then continue to Göteborg C by train again. That’s four changes as opposed to zero – Skånetrafiken strikes again! Just like in life, humour is the only long-term viable survival strategy.

The shuttle driver from Halmstad to Varberg must have been a good driver, since I drifted off to sleep, which indicates someone who does not brake abruptly and drives gently. We pick up my trolley and board the Öresundståg that is ready at the station, but not about to leave Varberg for another 25 long minutes. While Einar is understandably frustrated by the chaos at Kastrup, the many changes and the long wait right now, I am not even upset anymore since I am so used to travelling with Skånetrafiken. However, I do think it would be more customer minded to charge a reduced fee for the ticket on weekends with a lot of railway work and resulting longer travelling times, even if information about the planned work is published online in advance. Pro tip: Temper tantrums usually do not yield the kind of response you wish for, whereas asking nicely and arguing logically often does the trick.

It is surprisingly quiet in the train, apart from the occasional phone call, crying toddler and opening or closing doors. What will happen on the remaining 75 km of the journey – will the train break down? Will travellers throw themselves off the train in desperation? We hope not, but at this point, it would not surprise us, either. Is it irony or lack of people skills that the train conductor still wishes us ”en trevlig resa” (an enjoyable journey)? He encourages us to try applying for a price reduction but cannot give us any guarantees, and I am so tired that I wonder if the prospect of getting a price reduction of perhaps 100 kr is really worth the time and effort. Upon careful consideration, I have decided not to pursue this matter any further because the effort vs potential yield ratio is not worth it.